i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Dignity is for republicans.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
