it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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