Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
