omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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