I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
