dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
