he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
