You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
