They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Bring me that man meat
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