doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
