Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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