Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Let's paint friendship bongs
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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