the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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