i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Mom said you looked used
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
