whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize