got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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