i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize