He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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