a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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