the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
