I think I am morally bankrupt
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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