guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize