I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
