Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
