I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
