people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
