At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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