That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Someone came in the potted fern
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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