I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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