what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
