So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
