alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
