drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
