you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
