Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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