Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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