We won't sleep together?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
