She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
