I'm jealous of your bromance
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
