Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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