the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
