i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
