Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
