i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
