idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
