I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize