You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Non-Jews are for practice
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
