yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
