She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Will exercising make me less horny?
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