Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Randomize
