I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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