Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
