Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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