Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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