Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
