I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
