So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
