Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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