We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
