I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
