I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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