Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So here I am, sexting at work.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
