RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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