I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
